Starring: Me, a civilian with zero tolerance to twists and a PhD in detecting bullshit.

There are places where you bloom like a fancy houseplant…
And places where you shrivel like lettuce forgotten in the low rack of the fridge.
And apparently, if you don’t behave exactly like “The Local People” expect, they want you to fade, disappear and out of them eyes, to let them feel better.

🎄 Hello December 1st, the month where even calendars look tired.

Let me repeat this very slowly for the audience:
🥇 I. Do. Not. Tolerate. Bullshit.
Not socialist bullshit.
Not communist bullshit.
Not nationalist, supremacist, extremist, conspiracy-flavored, gluten-free organic bullshit either.
None.
Zero.
Nada.

I lived under certain regimes.
I know how the sausage is made, and trust me — you don’t want to see that kitchen.

But the absolute KING of all bullshit?
👑 INTEL BULLSHIT.
The “we secretly used you but also… we forgot to tell you” kind.
The “welcome to a spy movie you never auditioned for” kind.

At first, I thought:
“Nooo, stop it, you’re overreacting. It’s just your imagination. You need sleep.”
But the SECOND TIME?
Oh lovely you, that was deluxe, handcrafted, artisanal BS with a velvet bow.

And when people try GAMES with me?
I’m done.

---

🛑 MY RULES (somehow the universe used them as napkins):

Rule #1:

I don’t work near spies.
I don’t drink where spies drink.
I don’t eat where spies eat.
I don’t breathe where spies breathe.
CIA safehouse?
KGB safehouse?
Mossad safehouse?
PCC safehouse?
I don’t care if it’s a safehouse, doghouse, treehouse or Barbie’s Dreamhouse.
NO.

You broke my Rule #1

Rule #2:

I don’t want to be anywhere NEAR criminal hotspots disguised as:

• hotels,
• bars,
• casinos,
• NGOs,
• taco trucks,
• horse farms,
• yoga studios,
• hospitals
• or International family businesses

You Broke that too.
You broke my Rule #2

And please — PLEASE — stop sending “mysterious people” to be my friends, lovers, supporters, saviors, emotional comfort llamas…
NO THANK YOU.
I am perfectly fine alone, like a majestic wolf who also hates meetings.

I do tasks, not emotions.
You bring me chaos?
DELETE.
You bring me vibes?
BLOCKED.
You bring me feelings?
404 NOT FOUND.

---

🗣️ The Drama Moment:

And THEN — like a cosmic joke —
you tried to use me AGAIN in your international spy soap opera.

Without my permission.
Without my knowledge.
Without even a coffee offering.

And guess what?
SHE. SAID. YOUR. NAME.
So GO fix that mess, Agent Disaster.

I hereby withdraw from all conspiracies involving me.
Find a new “asset”.
Raise them.
Feed them.
Walk them.
Vaccinate them.

NOT. ME.

---

🇺🇸 PS:

I still hate socialism and communism.
And I still hope the US stays wild, chaotic, loud, free, stubborn and allergic to tyranny.
Because if FREEDOM dies — guess what replaces it?
Yep.
The same crap I already escaped.

---

🎤 FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

For the last time, universe, agencies, random people, cosmic forces:

❌ I AM NOT AN ASSET.

❌ I DO NOT WANT TO BE AN ASSET.

❌ I WILL NEVER BE AN ASSET.

✔️ I AM OUT OF MESSING WITH ME.