One seeks power.

The other seeks to be seen.

The prey is vulnerable, often begging for basic unmet needs — affection, validation, acknowledgment.

In extreme cases, even someone recognizing their pain or instability feels like love. To be acknowledged in their chaos feels like being seen.

And so they fall — “emotionally in love.”

But is it love?

Or is it trauma responding to trauma?

Predators, on the other side, often cannot love either. Many lost that capacity through their own wounds. From abused, they became abusers. They manipulate, twist, and dominate — all to meet their own unmet need: to feel powerful, to feel significant, to prove they are someone.

That one.

And so we live in a world of wounded people, unaware of their wounds, calling obsession “love” and dependency “passion.”

Love Is Not Desire

Desire is powerful. It is primal. It is one of the strongest unconscious human impulses.

But desire is not love.

Love is care.

Love is responsibility.

Love is wanting someone healed — even if that healing does not benefit you.

If someone has cancer, love is wanting them to receive professional treatment. It is not romanticizing suffering while holding hands in denial.

Love is protecting others from harm — even when the harm comes from someone close to you.

Love is not tolerating destruction in the name of loyalty.

Love is not enabling chaos.

Love is not blindness.

When Trauma Is Named Love

Too often, people confuse:

Obsession with devotion Possession with protection Dependency with connection Control with care

Unhealed trauma distorts perception.

Manipulative people exploit the concept of love for power, money, influence, or ego.

And because of this, the word love has lost meaning.

It has been reshaped, commercialized, romanticized, weaponized.

But distortion does not erase truth.

So What Is Love?

Love is not about holding hands.

Love is not about drama.

Love is not about possession.

Love is care.

Genuine care.

Care for someone’s health.

Care for someone’s freedom.

Care for someone’s dignity.

Care for someone’s growth — even when it challenges you.

Love requires awareness.

It requires maturity.

It requires mental stability.

A Wish for St. Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, I don’t wish you passion.

I wish you clarity.

I wish you the ability to understand what your love truly means — not the version sold to you, not the version driven by hormones or fear of loneliness.

Find your definition.

Heal your unmet needs.

So you don’t mistake trauma for romance.

So you don’t confuse power for connection.

So you don’t chase obsession and call it destiny.

More normal, grounded, genuine love could help this world.

And maybe the first step is honesty.