Tears in Hell

I cried. I cried through my childhood, my teenage years, and even during my marriage, surviving both emotional and physical abuse.

And then I became wild—wild so that no one would ever touch me again. Ever!

But no one taught me that people struggling with mental health issues could destroy you even worse than physical abuse.

Because women, like me, always try to fix someone. And that’s the trap!

No one can truly be fixed. No one can be taken care of .

Mental health struggles can’t be cured—they can be managed, controlled, and balanced, but never cured.

And if you try to fix them, you will lose the battle. Every. Single. Time.

So I cried again. From 2002 to 2007, I cried every single day—worse on Christmas than on any other day. Like today.

Because people with mental health issues are unable to realize what they’re doing.

To them, it’s normal. But their “normality” isn’t normal.

I read hundreds of books. I took hundreds of classes.

And still, I learned this hard truth: people with mental health struggles CAN use and manipulate others—because no one will tells them the truth about THEM own selves!

No one says: “You are mental sick, and if you’re not aware of it, your behavior will hurt and destroy normal people. Or worse—others who are already hurted because of someone like you.”

So I cried.

Until one day, I was saved and FREE in the USA.

But I wasn’t safe. I was still an easy target—still used and abused. Vulnerable people will always remain vulnerable until they become aware of their vulnerabilities.

But today, the cycle of my abuse ended!

No more tears. No more wild responses. No more being manipulated by narcissistic behaviors. No more ignorance of toxic dynamics like triangulation. No more tolerating obsessive or controlling behaviors.

Today, I stood up and spoke out.

This is the truth. This is THE normal—not madness, not chaos, not twisted behaviors.

Like it or not, everyone is free to embrace their own “madness”—but NOT with me. Not around me.

So today, I didn’t cry. I wasn’t wild. I simply said: NO.

No to manipulation. No to madness.

Normality, not Craziness!

Trusting Your Gut: A Fun Guide to Navigating New Job and Business Relationships

Because sometimes, your stomach knows best!


Introduction: The Gut Feeling Phenomenon

Ever met someone and just knew they were going to be a great business partner?
Or perhaps you’ve had that nagging feeling that a job opportunity wasn’t quite right, even though it looked perfect on paper. That’s your gut talking! But how do you know when to trust it?

Welcome to your fun-filled guide on blending intuition with a dash of logic to make stellar decisions in your professional life and why not on your personal life too.


1. Dip Your Toes In: Start Small and Test the Waters

Why? Because nobody likes rushing to the beach without checking the weather first! And it is named NORMALITY!

How?

  • Casual Coffees Over Commitments: Before agreeing and signing any dotted lines, grab a coffee or have an informal chat. Observe how the conversation flows. Awkward silences or natural banter?
  • Mini-Projects, Maxi-Insights: Propose a small project or collaboration. It’s like a test drive for your professional relationship. Does it feel like a smooth ride or are the wheels wobbling?

What to Watch For: Are you vibing well? Do they respect your ideas, or do they talk over you like that one friend at parties?


2. Sherlock Mode: Investigate (Minus the Deerstalker Hat)

Why? Trust is good, but verification is better. Plus, who doesn’t love a good sleuthing session?

How?

  • LinkedIn Lurking: Check out their professional history. Endorsements? Recommendations? Any mutual connections ?
  • Google is Your BFF: A quick search can reveal news articles, past projects, or (gasp!) any red flags.

What to Watch For: Consistency in their story. Do their claims match up with what’s online? If they’re the “World’s Best,” does the internet agree? A Person Without a Track Record (good or bad) Might Not Be Real! Even if someone does provide a track record, it’s important to investigate where it comes from and under what circumstances it was established.


3. Phone a Friend: Seeking External Wisdom

Why? Because sometimes, our gut is influenced by that spicy taco we had for lunch.

How?

  • Mentor Moments: Discuss your thoughts with a mentor. They’ve been around the block and can offer invaluable insights.
  • Buddy System: Chat with a trusted friend or colleague. Fresh perspectives can illuminate things you’ve missed.

What to Watch For: Are they echoing your feelings or offering a reality check? Either way, it’s golden information.


4. The Journal Journey: Documenting Your Adventure

Why? Memories can be as fickle as a cat deciding whether it wants to be pet. Writing things down ensures you keep memories in.

How?

  • Note the Nitty-Gritty: After each interaction, write down how you felt, what went well, and any hiccups.
  • Pattern Patrol: Over time, review your entries. Spot any recurring themes or feelings?

What to Watch For: If every note ends with “Left feeling uneasy,” maybe it’s time to face the truth. It is not an ok partnership! Conversely, consistent balance and positive NORMALITY is a green light!


5. Trust, But Don’t Be Hasty: Balancing Gut and Brain

Why? Because while your gut is smart, your brain has its merits too.

How?

  • Pros and Cons Lists: Good old-fashioned, but effective. Lay it all out.
  • Sleep well: Decisions made after a good night’s sleep are often clearer.

What to Watch For: If both your gut and brain are throwing a party in agreement, it’s likely a good sign. If they’re at odds, maybe target more.


Conclusion: The Perfect Blend

Navigating new professional relationships is like baking the perfect cake. You need the right ingredients (instincts), proper measurements (data), and a bit of patience (time). Trust your gut, but back it up with some detective work, friendly consultations, and self-reflection.

Remember, whether it’s a job offer that seems too good to be true, a new friendship or a business partner who’s charming but elusive, this fun-filled guide has got your back. Now, go forth and make decisions that would make both your gut and brain proud!

The Destructive Art of Crafting Compatibility

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

Marriage, often romanticized, is not the idyllic partnership it’s made out to be. Whether you marry for love, faith, parental advice, or choose a relationship, the potential harm a marriage can inflict on the individuals involved—and by extension, their families and future children—can be unimaginable.

Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not merely a construct that can be built and sustained with daily effort. Nor is it a drug that creates an obsessive dependency based on feelings. Instead, marriage involves two personalities who, by chance, find compatibility and are open to engaging in a normal relationship.

But how can this compatibility be assessed? While no definitive method exists, one thing is certain: you can usually sense when someone is not compatible with you. It’s crucial to listen to this intuition and be honest with the other person about it.

Attempting to build a family, relationship, or partnership based on therapy for incompatibility often leads to failure. A family thrives on emotional compatibility; everything else can be constructed and reconstructed around this foundation. However, when emotional compatibility is absent, and manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional destruction occur, it leaves lasting damage. These actions create tensions and grudges that can damage the relationship and affect everyone directly or indirectly.

Children, in particular, do not deserve the fallout of a poorly chosen partnership. If you realize you’ve made a wrong choice in your personal relationship, whether aware or unaware at the time, you bear responsibility for it.

So, how can you rectify this situation, stop the ongoing harm, and heal the damages created? Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Acknowledge the Problem: Recognize and admit that the relationship is not working due to fundamental incompatibility.
  2. Communicate Honestly: Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and the issues at hand.
  3. Seek Professional Help: Consider counseling or therapy to understand the dynamics of your relationship and to navigate the complexities of separation, if necessary.
  4. Prioritize Emotional Health: Focus on your emotional well-being and that of your children. Creating a stable and loving environment is crucial.
  5. Plan for the Future: If separation is the best option, plan for it thoughtfully. Ensure that both parties can move forward healthily and that children are supported emotionally and financially.

Ultimately, while marriage can be a beautiful union, it requires GENUINE emotional compatibility.

If this is lacking, it’s essential to address the situation honestly and constructively, prioritizing the well-being of all involved.