Eye glasses and jeans

Eye glasses and jeans, and again I became tired of having strange people around.

We crave normality. A normal life, normal families, normal friends. A normal life. And as everyone knows, for the last 10 years my life has been far away from anything that means normality.

And I try to live and survive in it, because it is about survival in everything.

And I found that denying the HELL that I live in, but helping others, and enjoying with others their little or big wins by helping them, makes me happy.

It makes me happy that OTHERS, NORMAL PEOPLE with hard lives are free and win in their personal fights, professional fights, or day-to-day fights, with a dirty society and corruption that tries to put NORMAL people down. Because the screwed up and crazy ones always win!

Yesterday was hard because I realized that never ever I would be able to ice skate again! And ice skating for me was a big passion, it made me grounded and relaxed. And it is done!

But to compensate, like “I HATE this body because it gave up on me and lead me to this place and these crazy people,” I walk!

In places and sites where I stopped walking for the last 4 months! And if before these dirty, screwed up streets were so familiar to me, now everything has changed, like even gangs changed the boundaries. Lol, sure they changed them!

But it is not my business, not my problem, and more than anything IT IS NOT MY CORRUPTION!

I kept passing by, smiling and thinking who belongs to whom, and how fast dirty money makes dirty money, and power of course!

And of course EVIL, who else, pushed me to enter a new restaurant! Brand new, only 4 months.

And probably God compensated, by taking away my ability to skate, He gave me instead a much higher sensitivity to people’s vibes.

And if anything sounded like rejection, well that restaurant entrance WAS a REJECTION! By vibes!

But that was not the problem. In fact, it was normal! At how I look, I would reject myself too. Sure, I would not want to talk with myself!

The story started ONLY AFTER it, at the bus station!

When my extensive sensitivity felt someone too close, even at a distance, and too VIBRANT!

I started refusing my own feelings, because I try to live NORMAL, forgetting that IT IS MY NORMALITY.

As some of yours is to buy brand name clothes, others to drink alcohol, others to lie, or chase money, mine is… sensitivity to vibes! And I can’t control it!

It happens… when… I don’t know… why… I don’t know… how… I don’t know… but what I know is that it happens, whether I like it or not, accept it or not. And I realize it just after it happens!

So I turned my head to see where it was coming from.

Close to me, but far enough, was a man, 50–60 years old, tall, skinny, and bald. Nothing to be on vibes!

My subconscious was looking for the vibes, not for the man. He could have looked any way, just parts of who he was had the vibes, not all, not him.

And I needed to know what? My eyes scanned him two, maybe three times…

Face could be fake, baldness could be fake too, ears far from the head…

THE VIBES! I kept looking for the vibes.

And I want you to know that this process is milliseconds and totally subconscious.

Till I realized. It was about his eyeglasses and his jeans.

His eyeglasses had video camera recorders, and his jeans were RIFFLES Indigo – I had and wore them in high school! His shoes were European, probably Otters, extremely good quality leather.

The man was not a fit for a bus station, neither for the place nor the country.

And the man knew me!

Since when did he track me? Before entering the questionable restaurant or after it?

I took the bus in the wrong direction. I sat close to a homeless person, starting a conversation with him to figure out how I could change the route.

I didn’t schedule the exit! Neither could I in my situation! I chose a station and an exit!

My targeter came out too!

I had the confirmation of my supposition! He targeted me! ANOTHER CRAZY!

I don’t know what is happening, and I don’t know why it is happening to me!

Starting with the crazy person across my place, the whole dirty network around, and this daily targeting increased in the last months after my accident, my sensitivity leveled up.

And for sure I never wanted to be in this highly sensitive style. To be like I am is how I was born, and it is a normality for me, and a fun motive for all this circus play for craziness and their dirty networks.

Changed buses and lost him… at least that’s what I thought!

People need freedom and normality. If you target them like you target me, you will destroy humanity!

I wish to get out of this dirty place with crazy people, to have a normal life with normal people, because sincerely I DO NOT CARE about anyone’s craziness, if you stay away and do not mess with me!

So my dear bald, crazy man, keep yourself and your vibes away from me… I try to live free and happy, no dirty games around me, and I try to help normal poor others to live it too. Dirty games are not for me!

Go and ice skate! I can’t!
Go and work, make a business, make money! I can’t!
Enjoy your family, relatives, support your dirty crazy networks! I am alone and i want to be alone without your crazy values and crazy people!!
And NOT interested in any!

Hang with ones like you… but never ever in your life target me!

I pray to always stay the normal me, with my old school values and never to be like them – CRAZY!

And you better be sure who you are and set boundaries VERY CLEAR against any craziness!

The Truth Behind Noelia Castillo, Protect Spain

Today is about Noelia Castillo and Spain. Noelia Castillo is Spain today, and it is deeply wrong, and I would like to tell you why.

Spain is a highly Catholic, religious country, and socialist—heavily socialist.

But when you decide to look down on Spain, I will tell you this: look back at its history.

Who is Spain? Who became Spain? Who came to Spain? Who built Spain? For what does Spain stand, and who hates Spain? And if you don’t know Spain’s history, go and study it.

Because in Spain, a country highly related to Catholicism as well as Muslim culture, where people just want to live, love, and enjoy life, to harvest organs by dirty schemes is NOT Spanish culture—not Catholic, and neither Arabian.

I met them, I know them! Not a single one would agree with it!

Illegal immigrants were PUSHED to Spain, and Spain accepted them.

It is like you accepted your American Irish people in Ireland, in the name of the same ancestry, and they mess with your people.

It is NOT Spain at fault! At fault is THE EUROPEAN UNION and the mess they did in every single country, messing with their rules, forcing illegal immigrants in, opening the borders.

Spain has one of the most radical and rigid Catholic systems, archetypal and with strict rules.

Euthanasia is FORBIDDEN in it.

Hospitals healthcare system and social system are still religiously influenced and supported in Spain.

Then HOW euthanasia—and much more, HOW on mental health people—how was it possible?

WHY was Noelia Castillo not certified and treated at her first suicide attempt, jumping from a window? Or at her first request for euthanasia? WHY?

I met a couple of Spanish doctors—EXTREMELY professional! Much more professional than in many countries I have been in.

Then HOW was Noelia Castillo not certified after the suicide attempt, but instead accepted for euthanasia and possibly influenced to stay in that decision?

And I come back to history. Starting with the EU admission—WHO are the filthy rich people that moved into Spain?
And WHO needed ORGANS?

Start from there!

My assumption is that behind the Noelia Castillo case there is a TOP-level illegal acting-as-legal organ trafficking ring with direct connections to Spanish hospitals.

Otherwise, in a country so religious and with such a good soul—Christian Catholic faith and Muslim faith—it would not happen EVER!

Find the ones who let free illegal immigrants who raped Noelia Castillo, and make a law for it! They must die for what they did!

It will be a lesson for ANYONE—citizen or immigrant, Christian or Muslim—to NEVER EVER rape a woman in SPAIN.

And second, investigate the illegal rings of organ harvesting in Spain, and the policy and procedure on accepting euthanasia/assisted suicide requests from a mentally ill patient.

Spain is good. Spain is religious. God, in all faiths, does not accept EUTHANASIA and RAPE!

EVIL, instead, for a lot of money and dirty rings, will do it!

Protect Spain and protect the people of Spain and the world!

Because EVIL and these rings are TRANSNATIONAL and involve dirty amounts of money!

Whoever messed with Spain or wants to mess with Spain and its people—make them pay for it!

I love SPAIN, God, faith, people, culture, my caffe con leche, and Spain knows that I love this place too!

Make JUSTICE!

The Crazy Schizo Stalker and His Network

The crazy schizo… every single mental health patient has a story. Today, I will tell you the story of a crazy schizo stalker and his network. A mental case that society let free, and a society is corrupted by criminal organizations.

And yes—this is a high-level criminal network.

He is crazy. He is dangerous. So crazy and dangerous that, one year, from his own house, he dared to order a wife for himself!

It was the second time I met him and his dirty, vicious, organized crime circle.

The first time, I stood up for a young woman—a Chinese woman—facing what was essentially an “arranged marriage.”

She trusted me because I defended her. In that dirty, top-level organized crime network, standing for someone’s rights was dangerous.

Today, I met him again. Like any other day, while I was out. The crazy… the CHEST NUT.

God knows how many people died in that “chest nut” house. The network was so corrupt, so untouchable, that no one dared investigate. And he continued living his crazy way.


Envy, Desire, and Family Control

He was always envious of his beautiful twin brother: curly hair, smile, intelligence, cars, bikes, clothes, world trips, and of course, a lot of women.

And that’s exactly what he wanted: sex, affection, kids, power. That’s what his family wanted to give him, just to control him.

But he was already violent, even toward his own family. He had wanted to kill his own mother. In his house, there were more than three dead bodies, and he was crazy before he became part of the extended family.

But family business is family business.

And me? I ended up as the confessor, listening to everyone—crazy there or part of theirs dirty networks.


The Making of Evil

Because he was always on the edge, his father taught him the art of disguise—to hide his feelings of inadequacy, to smooth over the fact that he was not like his brother. Step by step, he became more crazy, collecting clothes, shoes, and devising indirect ways to revenge people, plotting in his twisted mind.

Then, organized crime saw in him the perfect asset—someone to manipulate, to execute crimes, to twist the networks in their favor.

His family knew that he was behind all the dirty crimes, plots, and alliances in town. And protected him!

He became THE EVIL. In his mind, God gave everything to his brother and mother—and nothing to him.
He wanted everything for himself. At ANY cost!

His sister, skilled in intelligence, noticed the family dynamics. She decided to leverage his mental illness and desire for revenge for her own gain. She approved all his crazy wishes and gained his trust.


The House of Horrors

When he requested to live independently, it wasn’t a problem for his enlarged family and their network (they belonged to a respected social and religious group) to financially support him.

A whole house was just for him.

And everyone in that house had to be liked by him. Anyone “uncomfortable”? Dead.

So many dead bodies, and no one investigated.


The Nurse

He heard about a foreign nurse who could make people’s wishes come true. Even though he could pay for everything, winning the heart of the young Chinese woman was difficult.

He hired the nurse with one order:

“I want this Chinese girl to fall in love with me and have MY baby.”

The nurse refused. The organized crime network was furious. She was fired… after having her coffee poisoned.

Later, he brought in the entire family—nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, friends—all to serve him, to obey his desires.

To “ human traffic” a young Chinese woman with mental health problems for a crazy old man? Nothing.

The network and family ensured that his wishes were obeyed.

The crazy man was always afraid. Afraid of being called crazy.


Desensitizing the Crazy One

His sister and the dirty professional support network decided to desensitize him to women. If he wanted sex, kids, and a “normal life” supported by a dirty network, he needed to look normal.

They needed a trigger to make the crazy man “healthy.” The nurse became that trigger.


Corruption Everywhere

The nurse realized the full scale of corruption: police, politics, religion, healthcare, organized crime, intelligence services—all colluding with the crazy family. There was no friends left unaligned.

She was isolated, helpless in a hostile place. Anyone who knew the story was automatically one of them.


Today

Today, on the street, he walked disguised as another persona: jeans, clean coat, curly wig like his brother, sunglasses, hands rigid but out of pockets. Calm but anxious, secure, free, full of new tricks.

Finally: He was in charge—controlling others, putting down those beneath him, deciding who gets crumbs, who gets access.
HE BROKE THE NURSE!

The nurse smiled at her brokenness, pitying a society where crazies and organized crime overpower genuine souls.


The Witch

She remembered the old occult lady in the coffee shop:

“What would you do if you were a witch?”

“I would make a better world,” she thought. Because if God allows this to happen to good people… maybe it is not God, but Evil.

Perhaps being a witch and saving God from Evil is the only path left.

Someone must stand for God and normality, because Evil and craziness are allowed to rule—and if they do, humanity is destroyed.

They smiled… and, for some unknown reason, an image came to her mind of a remote Nordic rural place—Sweden, Norway. And the witch said:

“I am not dead!”
“And you know it!”

The nurse kept walking, knowing… as long as craziness and Evil are allowed to rule, humanity will be destroyed.

Someone must fight for God, for normality, and for justice.


This story is about madness, corruption, courage, and the courage to see the truth.

Mastering Café Con Leche: My Kontessa Experience

The story of me and Kontessa, that overpriced, pretentious espresso pot I blew way too much cash on back in 2017. Every bean I threw at that shiny bitch came out tasting like hot regret and broken dreams. I tried to yeet it into the trash, pawn it off on friends, even begged strangers to take it as a “thoughtful” gift. Nobody wanted the cursed thing.

Then—bam—2025 rolls around, the stars finally align, I used actual decent water for once, toss in some random Spanish coffee, and holy mother of caffeine—Kontessa suddenly births the greatest café con leche known to man. Creamy, sweet, life-changing.

I’m standing there like an idiot going, “Wait… ALL THESE YEARS I’ve been torturing myself and this solid steel diva was just waiting for me to stop being a moron?”

Why didn’t I figure it out sooner? Why’d I waste nearly a decade hating my own coffee maker?

I don’t know, man. God’s got a sick sense of humor and apparently a very specific pour-over schedule.

Moral of the story: sometimes the universe makes you suffer for eight years just because was not the right time, right place, right coffee, right water, right milk, right you, right situation, right everything. Not the right vibes!

Trust the process. Or trust God. Or just trust a better coffee. Whatever.

The Dance Between Predator and Prey

One seeks power.

The other seeks to be seen.

The prey is vulnerable, often begging for basic unmet needs — affection, validation, acknowledgment.

In extreme cases, even someone recognizing their pain or instability feels like love. To be acknowledged in their chaos feels like being seen.

And so they fall — “emotionally in love.”

But is it love?

Or is it trauma responding to trauma?

Predators, on the other side, often cannot love either. Many lost that capacity through their own wounds. From abused, they became abusers. They manipulate, twist, and dominate — all to meet their own unmet need: to feel powerful, to feel significant, to prove they are someone.

That one.

And so we live in a world of wounded people, unaware of their wounds, calling obsession “love” and dependency “passion.”

Love Is Not Desire

Desire is powerful. It is primal. It is one of the strongest unconscious human impulses.

But desire is not love.

Love is care.

Love is responsibility.

Love is wanting someone healed — even if that healing does not benefit you.

If someone has cancer, love is wanting them to receive professional treatment. It is not romanticizing suffering while holding hands in denial.

Love is protecting others from harm — even when the harm comes from someone close to you.

Love is not tolerating destruction in the name of loyalty.

Love is not enabling chaos.

Love is not blindness.

When Trauma Is Named Love

Too often, people confuse:

Obsession with devotion Possession with protection Dependency with connection Control with care

Unhealed trauma distorts perception.

Manipulative people exploit the concept of love for power, money, influence, or ego.

And because of this, the word love has lost meaning.

It has been reshaped, commercialized, romanticized, weaponized.

But distortion does not erase truth.

So What Is Love?

Love is not about holding hands.

Love is not about drama.

Love is not about possession.

Love is care.

Genuine care.

Care for someone’s health.

Care for someone’s freedom.

Care for someone’s dignity.

Care for someone’s growth — even when it challenges you.

Love requires awareness.

It requires maturity.

It requires mental stability.

A Wish for St. Valentine’s Day

This Valentine’s Day, I don’t wish you passion.

I wish you clarity.

I wish you the ability to understand what your love truly means — not the version sold to you, not the version driven by hormones or fear of loneliness.

Find your definition.

Heal your unmet needs.

So you don’t mistake trauma for romance.

So you don’t confuse power for connection.

So you don’t chase obsession and call it destiny.

More normal, grounded, genuine love could help this world.

And maybe the first step is honesty.

Stubbornness Is Not Freedom — When Mental Illness Steals the Chance to Live

As Christmas approaches, many of us begin reflecting on family, loss, and the meaning of life. This year, I found myself thinking not about clinical diseases—the ones we can see in blood tests or scans—but about a different kind of illness. One that hides behind emotions, beliefs, spiritual confusion, and fear.

I’m talking about mental illness.
About the invisible forces that distort reality, alter priorities, and sabotage life-saving decisions.

This year, I learned this lesson in the hardest, most heartbreaking way.


2025: The Year I Couldn’t Save Someone I Loved

Someone very dear to me was diagnosed with cancer.
A disease that, with the right doctors and treatment plan, is often survivable.

They had access to good medical care.
They had the right medications, a supportive oncology team, and a healthcare system ready to help.

But none of it mattered.

Because what we don’t talk about enough is this:

Cancer is treatable.
Delusion is not.

When a person’s mind is clouded by paranoia, fantasies, fears, spiritual confusion, or emotional turmoil, even the clearest medical facts become impossible to accept.

And I watched this unfold in real time.


When Delusions Become “Freedom”

We live in a culture that glorifies absolute personal freedom — even when it becomes self-destructive.

But stubbornness rooted in mental instability is not freedom.
It is a pathological form of freedom that comes from a mind detached from reality.

True freedom requires:

  • mental competency
  • rational thinking
  • the ability to understand consequences
  • the capacity to make informed decisions

Without these, “freedom” becomes a form of illness.

And sadly, someone always takes advantage of those who are mentally fragile.

Always.

This is not God’s will.
This is human manipulation, fear, and exploitation.


The People Who Encouraged Her Delusions

What hurt even more was seeing certain people around her encourage the delusions — sometimes out of denial, sometimes for selfish reasons.

They supported ideas that were not grounded in reality.
They minimized medical facts.
They fed the fantasy because it served them.

This isn’t love.
This isn’t support.
This is neglect wearing a mask of compassion.

Their influence didn’t heal her.
It killed her.


In Another Society, She Might Have Lived

I can’t stop thinking about this:

Would she still be alive if she lived in a society that protected vulnerable people better?

A society:

  • without corruption
  • without manipulative family dynamics
  • without predators hiding behind religion or business
  • without the stigma around mental illness

In a healthier environment, she might have accepted treatment.
She might have fought.
She might still be alive.

But instead, toxicity consumed her — and she died believing she was making a “free choice.”


A Light in the Darkness: Spain’s Healthcare System

Despite everything, I want to acknowledge something important:

Spain has one of the best healthcare systems I’ve ever encountered.

The medical teams were:

  • highly professional
  • coordinated
  • compassionate
  • equipped with excellent resources
  • dedicated to saving lives

They were ready to help her.
But you can’t treat someone who refuses treatment — even when their refusal is shaped by mental illness.

The law protects autonomy, even when that autonomy is distorted by delusion.


The Painful Truth

You can fight cancer.

You cannot fight a mind lost in delusion.

You cannot force someone to choose life when their illness convinces them otherwise.

And you cannot save someone who interprets dying as freedom.


Stubbornness Is Not Freedom

I know what freedom is.
I know what it isn’t.

Freedom is:

  • making informed decisions
  • understanding reality
  • choosing life when life can be saved
  • protecting your future

Anything else is not freedom — it’s suffering disguised as independence.

And it can cost a life.